Falling Back Into Memories
by unperfectwolf
Summary: Gen, Alanna. About Alanna's death. Old and needs to be rewritten or at least revised. Read at your own risk.
1. Part One

Disclaimer: Um... Everything that's *not* Tam's is mine. Happy reading.

**Falling Back Into Memories**

A FanFic by Kennie, aka Chip

-Part One-

Alanna looked out across the city from the window. When she was younger, much in that fact, the city had been beautiful, the colors bright.

Alanna looked again and saw the dismissive gray, the tattered flags. She didn't see the hustle and bustle of loyal subjects, but the slinking and sighing of defeated ones.

She meant nothing but goodness for her godson, the King Roald, son of Jonathan III and Thayet of Conte. He was a good King, but he wasn't _her_ king.

The silver haired lady in breaches and a tunic, both dark amethyst, leaned back unto the window frame, her eyes closing.

She was the last of the old reign. It had ended when her class died away, faded to the woods, all disappearing to die.

When King Roald, before King Jonathan III had declared the Test, the old reign had ended. Jonathan had held it together, because he had been raised to it. The new King, he hadn't.

The memories of summers gone and friendships lost, of battles fought and people gone, they all flooded the once dark auburn haired knight. The bittersweet thoughts, the things they said, the innocence they had was gone from the realm, and never would return.

The faces of her friends, Roaul, Gary, Jon… They crowded into her. Thoughts of friends she lost along the way, the ones who died before their day. Alex, the one she had killed, the dark haired boy of her youth. Francis… She remembered his happiness, wrought down because of a mage's desires.

Then her thoughts traveled to her brother, Thom. He had been gone for almost seventy years then. Gone… The word whispered through her head.

Her eyes were open now, but they didn't see. They were blank, showing only the memories she had.

Her thoughts drifted back to Trebond, where she was brought up. She remembered when the two red headed twins with amethyst eyes had run from their keepers and maids, made the cook see things that were not their….

****

"Thom!" the young girl cried, grinning from ear to ear as the two ran down the stairwell.

The boy stopped and waited for his twin to catch up, taking her had in his and turning, running towards the back exit.

The two made their way across the gardens, running and jumping. They laughed and seemed happy, but there was a brooding presence in each.

Thom had seen what he need and knew what would happen. He could see the battle, and see his death, but he could see a great good for the one person he loved: His twin sister.

Thom would go to, and be killed, just so that his sister could live, and be happy.

Alanna couldn't see anything, but she felt a great misgiving. The two nine-year-olds had worries that they didn't need, they saw things they shouldn't and had to live through it….

Alanna sighed, and closed her eyes to the tears. An amethyst fire covered her, because of her state of mind. Deep in her she felt a presence of another fire, amethyst, but belonging to someone else. She felt that half of her was missing… That half was Thom.

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R&R please!


	2. Part Two

Disclaimer: Um... Everything that's *not* Tam's is mine. Happy reading.

**Falling Back Into Memories**

A FanFic by Kennie, aka Chip

-Part Two-

The court was having a ball, but Alanna could not bring herself to go. She hadn't gone for years, almost fifteen in fact. It had been so hard then, but now… The fiefs were cities and towns were growing up… The villages, they were now large towns.

No longer did magic run the veins of nobles, it was growing scarce. Wild Magic was even scarcer. Only one had it now, and she was up in her age now. Daine. The Wild Mage had never passed the trait on, not to one of her four children.

Alanna had passed the trait of magic onto three of her five, Thom, Alannie and Jaclyn. The other two, Alan and Jilete, had none. Thom was now Baron of Pirates Swoop, and Alan was Lord of Trebond. Alannie was a fine Lord of Olau.

The noise was growing louder and Alanna began to drift in her memories once again.

****

The young pages were hurrying to get ready for the festivals, running errands and so forth. The young copper haired page was walking with his- or should that be a her? (A slight smile crept to the eld warriors face) –and listening to what they said.

The large, burly one, Roaul of Goldenlake, was talking non-stop about something his knight master had said. The tall, wiry one, Alexander of Tiggan (sp?) was silent, thinking and glancing at the copper haired page. The other two, Gareth of Naxon and Prince Jonathan III of Conte, were adding input.

The copper haired page sighed, and then grinned at something one of them said, telling him off….

Alanna sighed. She didn't need this. These memories… The times before, the times after… She could still see the young faces of her friends, the old faces of some… Faithful… The cat had died for her…

She should have died then, but two had saved her. Faithful and The Goddess…

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R&R please!


	3. Part Three

Disclaimer: Um... Everything that's *not* Tam's is mine. Happy reading.

**Falling Back Into Memories**

A FanFic by Kennie, aka Chip

-Part Three-

Alanna stood away from the wall and walked quickly, if not slightly stiffly and rickety, to the door. She let herself out of her room and walked down the halls toward the main banquet room. She nodded to those she passed, aware of the looks of awe and fear they gave her.

She still wore her sword proudly, and around her left arm was the colors of Tortall, like any knight, she wore her colors. She had her dagger on her belt and her boots each held one, though if she could get them in time, she doubted.

She walked through small halls and passed half open doors, seeing the pages and squires scurry around. She smiled to see that girls were as numerous as boys in the lower ranks, and that knights she passed were often as not female.

She remember coming to the palace as a girl gone a boy and masquerading the whole time, as a boy. She remembered the trials it put her through and the things she could have done had she been a girl page.

She sighed knowingly. Gorge had been gone eleven years now, and Jonathan ten. Roaul and Gray had been gone almost thirteen years, both having died in a battle against Raiders. Alex… She herself had killed him when they were in their prime.

Now she was at the hall. She nodded to the footman, Trev, Timon's son. Alanna smiled, remembering Timon, and Stefan. Who could forget Gorge's loyal servant Stefan.

The door was opened wide and a quiet hush fell. The ball had been going for some time and entrances were over. Trev entered and banged his staff thrice, then called out her titles. "Sir Alanna of the old Tortall, First female knight, of Trebond, Olau and Pirates Swoop, late of handing over the title as The King's Champion. The Lioness of Tortall!"  
There was a collective hush as she entered, seeing her in court for the first time in many, many years. People smiled at her, remembering that she had brought the Dominion Jewel to Tortall's Crown and that she _still_ was the Lioness, no matter her age.

She bowed formally once she had come to the base of the King and Queen's dais, where they sat. Both Roald and Keladry smiled and bowed back. Keladry my have been queen, but she was also a knight.

"King Roald, Queen Keladry, I come to tell you, that I will not be attending court any longer… I will write and explain. Goodbye." Alanna turned and walked away, her steps creaky, but her stride strong. The saying was true, that warriors never die, they fade away. She looked at them and stopped, the court watching as she looked over them.

Her eyes were blank, as she remembered the day she walked in to be knighted…

****

Alanna walked alone through the doors. She was to be knighted. She had survived the Chamber of Ordeal, and she was to get her shield.

As she stood from kneeling, and being named Sir Alan of Trebond, knight of the Realm of Tortall, a red bearded man had stepped from the crowed. With him he had a covered shield. He requested to give it to her.

When she had her shield, the crowed cheered their small, knight, the newest. They all loved this knight, and many had since he had been a page. His only enemies were Duke Roger and a boy from Malven, also known as "Claw".

Now she saw that they loved her, but did they? Would they truly love her if they knew she was a girl. She didn't know…

Alanna smiled faintly and turned, and crowed clapped to see their legend away. The Lioness was removing herself from their laws, she was leaving. She walked away, and her steps faltered. She leaned against the wall, and sighed. She was too old now.

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R&R please!


	4. Part Four

Disclaimer: Um... Everything that's *not* Tam's is mine. Happy reading.

**Falling Back Into Memories**

A FanFic by Kennie, aka Chip

-Part Four-

Alanna didn't move. She stayed there, leaning against the wall and she could remember everything that had happened in the palace. It raced by her in flashes, the page and squire games, the lessons, the duties. She could see Faithful and Moonlight, Jonathan, her Prince, the young one, Alex, Roaul, Gorge, Francis… He had died so young. She could see Gary and her planning another joke, and another maid catching what was meant for a noble.

She could feel their presence, the essence of them, what made them part of her. She could see the good times and tears welled up from the hard ones. She saw the fight, the last one with Jonathan, over Page Keladry, and her storming out. That was the last time she had been part of the Court. She was never civil again, and that worried Thayet. Jonathan had watched her from a distance, seeing his friend grow apart from him.

She saw the time she introduced her children to the Court, her last time before now in that room. She saw Laim, lying dead on the altar… Nealen of Queenscove was the last squire she took. Never again did she set foot in the palace, until Jonathan was on his deathbed. Thayet had died some years before.

Now Alanna saw her life, her brother, cat, horses, friends, loves, children and everyone else, and heard a poem, or a snatch of a song, in her head…

> > > > > _Now you are all that's left  
After Destiny is done  
She left you there, to see the world  
As they left it  
  
Now fly, my friend, fly away…  
  
You see them taking up a stand  
Turning your world around  
The new things replacing old  
The strange taking all you know  
  
Now fly, my friend, fly away…  
  
One day things will see a light  
And nothing shall show  
What you and you kind have done  
  
Now fly, my friend, fly away…  
  
What you did, will be gone  
Now fly, my friend, fly away…  
_

Alanna sighed, and felt a presence with her. A clam feeling came over her and she closed her eyes, her breathing slowing. She knew that the person with her was no one at all, but the Great Mother, The Goddess.

The Goddess smiled down upon her daughter, and gently calmed her to sleep. Alanna's breathing finally stopped and her body slummed to the floor.

Her spirit and soul flew up, following the Goddess's trail to the Dark God's Realm. The Goddess held the door for her, and she smiled, her copper hair wavy and down to her waste as Gorge scooped her up in a hug. Jonathan watched from a distance and a black cat raced to her, leaping onto her shoulder. Laim waited, then embraced her, and Thom… Her brother was there as well, looking young and healthy. He hugged her tight, and The Goddess smiled as she closed the doors, her daughter was home.

Back in the court, the door was flung wide and a squire looked at them, his face white and his hazel eye's accented by flaming copper hair. "My Grandam… The Lioness… She's dead."

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R&R please!


	5. Author's Note And Things- To the readers

Disclaimer: Um... Everything that's *not* Tam's is mine. Happy reading.

**Falling Back Into Memories**

A FanFic by Kennie, aka Chip

****

Author's Notes and Things:

Well, I wrote the poem, and I was thinking as I was sitting and staring out at the last of our snow, just finishing re-reading all of the Tamora Pierce books I could find: The Song of The Lioness Quartet, The Immortal's Quartet, Page, Circle of Magic Quartet, Magic Steps (I got it, yay! So, Camie doesn't get that great sweater and Marc and Anne get money bummed off them so Camie gets a B-day pres., but hey, getting the book was worth it!).

And I thought 'well we all like to write those happy endings, but what happens to all those die hard warriors?' So I started to write this. Tell me what you think.

And yes, it's sad, but hey, whats a good story with out it? And I mean, she _did_ get back to her friends and family! So anywho...

Happy readings and I hope you like it! I'm writing more, and this was just a spur, one day, things. I might write more like it, but I hope everyone enjoys it!!!

-Peace Out-

~Chip~

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BYE!!!! HAPPY READINGS!!!!!


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